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December 4, 2008
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Dance for the Setting Sun by baranoshiko Dance for the Setting Sun by baranoshiko
Dance for the Setting Sun,
Darkness, steal over the distant sea,
Smoke of light and fire hang the stars,
Time turn the bloom to seed.

Setting Sun, last silver in Day's empty purse,
What flower would you bless,
what stone would shine brightest,
Were you to walk among the brittle grass?

When death and dark seep from soil,
Damp with life and heavy with age,
What rebirth does your partner Rising Sun bring?

We who dance to your song,
We who circle in the darkness that you wrap,
We who reach empty hands to grasp the last bloom,
What are we to say when light guilds the world,
When dawn reaches out and we are blind?

~~~


Another practice in form, except this time I wanted to try putting a pattern to the cloth, and everything spiraled from there.

I rather like it and I'm getting better at hands! Feet can still be a problem though...

Art (c) Me

Please comment and let me know what you think!
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:iconneko-emi:
Neko-Emi Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008
Love it! Both the picture and the poem. I'm jealous of your pattern--mine always suck.

Second line--"steal" needs to be "steals."
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:iconbaranoshiko:
baranoshiko Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2008
I'm glad you like it! That pattern took me seven - count 'em, SEVEN - to get the angle to look right and then another half hour to put it all in ... Looks fine in the end, but it is build off my blood, sweat and tears! :faint:

And it is supposed to be 'steal'. The first stanza is giving direction/commands to different things.
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:iconneko-emi:
Neko-Emi Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008
Looks amazing! Your effort shows.

Ah, ok. In that case, may I suggest a comma? Doesn't really need one, though. Just seems awkward.
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:iconbaranoshiko:
baranoshiko Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2008
It does seem awkward, but I think that's more because we're so used to hearing about 'darkness stealing/steals over' something. We're not used to such a slight variation...
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:iconneko-emi:
Neko-Emi Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008
Very true. Still, if it's a command, you usually use a comma. Ex: Bara, go! rather than Bara go!
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:iconbaranoshiko:
baranoshiko Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008
Right. Forgot that ... changing now.
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:iconneko-emi:
Neko-Emi Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008
:giggle: Grammar Nazi, to the rescue!
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